When a spouse cheats

This challenge will come with a lot of ambivalence and uncertainty. However, as you rebuild trust, admit guilt, learn how to forgive and reconcile struggles, it can deepen and strengthen the love and affection we all desire. Take some time. Before choosing to continue or end your marriage, take the time to heal and understand what was behind the affair.

This is not a decision to make at the height of your emotional struggles. Seeking professional help with a counselor who specializes in marital therapy can be invaluable. Learn the lessons that might prevent future problems. Consult a marriage counselor.

Seek help from a licensed therapist who is specifically trained in marital therapy and experienced in dealing with infidelity. Marriage counseling can help you put the affair into perspective, identify issues that might have contributed to the affair, learn how to rebuild and strengthen your relationship, and avoid divorce — if that's the mutual goal. Consider asking your counselor to recommend reading material on the subject, too.

10 Things to Do Immediately When You Find Out Your Partner Is Cheating

If both of you are committed to healing your relationship in spite of all the suffering and pain that might be present, the reward can be a new type of marriage that will continue to grow and likely exceed any of your previous expectations. Mayo Clinic does not endorse companies or products. Advertising revenue supports our not-for-profit mission.

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Free E-newsletter Subscribe to Housecall Our general interest e-newsletter keeps you up to date on a wide variety of health topics. Sign up now. Infidelity: Mending your marriage after an affair Infidelity causes intense emotional pain, but an affair doesn't have to mean the end of your marriage. By Mayo Clinic Staff. References Infidelity.

Why Some Couples Can Recover After Cheating and Others Can't

American Association for Marriage and Family Therapy. Accessed Dec. Mao A, et al. Online infidelity: The new challenges to marriages. If one dies, the other develops a bond with another individual.

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Male lightning bugs entice mates by lighting up the night sky. Queen bees mate with a very small number of male bees, drones, to produce many eggs. Jumping spiders are known to "dance" for their mates, performing a complex, zigzagging flamenco-like dance to entice the females. Not only do they make moves, they actually make a rhythmic vibrating song using their body movements. Though the wronged partner typically has plenty of support in the aftermath of an affair, there are far fewer resources for cheaters themselves.

Yet there's both a need for more information for unfaithful partners and an opportunity for couples to navigate beyond an affair. People don't always cheat for the reasons we might think, experts say. This goes against the narrative that we have been told that women cheat for love and men cheat purely for sexual reasons," Nelson said. Women are more faithful than men, and other myths on female infidelity.

What's more, motivations for the ultimate outcome of an affair can differ. Some people cheat to stay in their marriage," she explained. If you're the unfaithful one in your relationship, it's worth determining why you cheated, what you hoped to get from it and whether those reasons preclude reconciliation. Am I looking at the full scope of our relationship, or am I just highlighting the bad times? Do I really want to end my marriage, and how will that affect my kids, family and my partner?

Signs Your Spouse Could Be Cheating

What do you need to reconnect to your partner? If you're feeling guilty -- or if you want to stay with your significant other -- it can be tempting to spill the beans. But you'll want to consider what your motivations are for confessing. What to do when your partner has a flirty friendship.

Though the wronged partner will no doubt have a lot of questions about the affair, it may not be healthy to hear the answers, especially all at once, sex therapist Sari Cooper said.